Healing or Betrayal?

I had a dog that died right before Christmas of my senior year of high school. He wasn't my dad's dog or my mom's dog or my brother's dog.... he was my dog. He'd sleep at the foot of my bed. He'd wait for me to come home from school. He was my dog, my friend. And then one night, while trying to jump up on something in the middle of the night, he broke a disc in his back and couldn't walk. Less than 12 hours later, the vet ruled that it would be best to put him to sleep. In the space of 24 hours, my living, breathing friend who'd wag his tail when I'd walk through the door went from a dog to a pile of ashes. It hurt. Terribly. I cried and missed him a ton.

But time went by and the pain decreased. I didn't miss him as much. Sure, I missed him, but I didn't ache when I thought of him. I got less and less sad. We got a new dog. I began to slowly forget about Frisco (that was my dog's name).

And then it hit me one day-- I didn't miss Frisco that much anymore.... and I felt awful about it. I felt disloyal. I felt guilty. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

So, is it right? Time causes us to forget the pain.... but when we forget the one who's gone themself, are we right? I don't know.



I miss my friends. I know they are (for the most part) all coming back in the fall, but I wish they were here. However, I don't ache to be with them like I did right when they left. I'm getting more and more used to the routine of Santa Clarita without my closest friends.... so am I disloyal? Am I a jerk? Should I feel guilty? I don't know. I don't think so....


But the thing that hits me the most is that so often I neglect thinking about Christ; often more than I don't think about my friends. And the difference is that He hasn't gone anywhere. He's never left me. And yet I'll forget.

I think that's where I'm most faithless. And that's where I feel most guilty.

Praise be to Christ that he is the One spoken of in Hebrews 13-- the One who is the same yesterday, today and forever. When I am faithless, He is more than abundantly faithful. Though friends move away and move on, He will always be there. That's His promise.




And by the way, I finished the Da Vinci Code Wednesday morning. I'll blog more about it later.