"This is Red 5, I'm going in..."

Well, I'm not gonna lie. This has been definitely one of the hardest weeks of my entire college career. I'm off to the races in a new semester and I'm looking around and I see myself being systematically deprived of my closest friends. It's like in Star Wars, when they're in those really cool space dogfights, all the guys in the X-Wings or Y-Wings or whatever keep getting blown up or shot down one by one... I feel like I'm the guy in the last X-Wing. It's pretty crazy.

But the thing is, as a Christian, we are never alone. I know it sounds cliche, but Jesus is always there. ALWAYS. Jesus gave his followers the wonderful and beautiful promise in Matthew 28:20b, which says "behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." And this is a lasting promise, because Christ doesn't change. Hebrews 13:8 affirms that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." The Jesus who was with us from the start is with us now and will always be with us.

I've noticed a common theme in some hymns... many hymnwriters will comment on being deserted by those closest to themselves but still find joy in following Christ....
"Foes may hate and friends disown me, show Thy face and all is bright"-- from Jesus I My Cross have Taken
"Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer; in His arms He'll take and shield thee; Thou shalt find a solace there."-- from What a Friend We Have in Jesus
"Though none go with me, I still will follow..."-- from I Have Decided to Follow Jesus
"Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also; the body they may kill, God's Word abideth still; His kingdom is forever."-- from A Mighty Fortress is Our God

These guys understood a proper understanding of our relationship with Christ. Our connection to Christ isn't just one of many relationships we have, it seriously is the best. I don't know how to say this enough. Christ is all we need. I can't help but think that the Apostle John was lonely while in exile on the Island of Patmos, but that his joy in those lonely times was found in the relationship that he had with his Lord and Savior and friend Jesus Christ.

But here's the rub, to quote the Bard... I don't always live this way. In fact, it's rare that I can honestly say, "I am totally fine with being alone." I take so much joy from human companionship and I only resort to my relationship with God after I seem deserted from all others. Which is why I believe I keep having to struggle with finding joy in my relationship to God. The more I read both C.S. Lewis and John Piper, the more I see that if we are going to ever draw Joy from our relationship with God, it must be our first Joy. To experience it as second to something cheapens it. To treat God as the next best option is an affronting insult to the Creator of the Universe. And yet we do that all the time. It's only in the hard times that we attempt to draw Joy from God, like a back up water resevoir in time of drought. God should be the first fountain we rush for, not the spare well. To treat Him as a reserve results in not knowing how to properly enjoy Him at all.

I belive that if one wants to really understand biblical Joy as found in God, one must read the Psalms first and foremost, and then supplement them (not that they, as the Word of God, need supplementing) with Lewis and Piper. I think Lewis and Piper are two sides of the same "biblical joy coin". Lewis is more poetic, Piper more didactic. Both are excellent.

I don't want it to sound like I'm being deserted by my friends. Many are only gone simply because of different geographical locations this semester, such as San Diego, D.C., and Jerusalem. Others have started dating or have gotten engaged, and now much of their time is devoted to other issues. Some indeed have pulled away for various and sundry reasons, but all are understandable.

It's just an interesting semester, that's all. The Lord is teaching me much. I read the small booklet A Call to Prayer by J.C. Ryle over the winter break-- incredible. It broke me down and convicted me that I am not a man of Prayer. Ryle basically makes the Biblical argument that one who claims to be a follower of God will be characterized by constant communication with God in the form of Prayer. Prayer is so important. In God's providence, I read this book just in time. I finished it just as soon I noticed how alone I've been, and it has served as a constant beacon to run to God in prayer. Truly we can take everything to God in prayer! Sometimes it just helps to get things off your chest, and God is the best listening ear, because not only does He fully understand, but He can actually do something about it.

So yes, it's been rough. Really rough. But it's been good. I think I'm being painfully stripped of my idolatry of friendships, of the sinful comfort I get from human relationships. Granted, our relationships with friends are gifts of God to be cherished, but when they are valued over our relationship with God, they become idols. And like the ghost with the lizard on his shoulder in Lewis' The Great Divorce, sometimes it is excruciatingly painful when we are broken of our sinful habits. But the end result is beautiful. So I understand that while this is painful for the moment, it is good that I'm learning to rely on friends less and less and to depend on God more and more. Truly, He will "make everything beautiful in its time..." (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Praise God for that.