"Go, go where you are, anchor your roots underneath; doubt your own doubts, and believe your beliefs."

You have a responsibility to be wherever you're at. It is sin to wish you were somewhere else. Let me tell you something Stuart Scott said to our Methods of Biblical Change class freshman year: when you fantasize and daydream about how your life can be better, you are questioning God's sovereignty, purpose, and goodness in your life; and you are trying to be God in your own little twisted way by setting up your own ideal world in which YOU are sovereign, not God. It's just plain sin.

Sounds harsh, huh? You don't like to hear that your daydreams and fantasies of how life could be so much better if only this or that would happen are sin, right?

But think about it. It's biblical. We are called to be content in all things, like Paul; whether in a prison cell or under house arrest or being stoned and shunned and shipwrecked and slandered all while carrying the Gospel to a lost world.

If you asked me what one text has radically and primarily shaped my thinking, I will truthfully tell you the Word of God. But, that's not to say that certain other things I've picked up along the way haven't stuck with me.

The first quote I'm about to tell you will fully remove any doubt in your mind of what a giant nerd I am. It's from Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring-- the movie, not the book. Although, I have read the book (actually all the books, and actually I've read them multiple times each), I like the way the movie conveys this specific scene better. The fellowship is trying to make its way through the dark and abandoned caves of the Dwarf city of Moria (which always reminds me of the Mountain in which Abraham was sent to sacrifice Isaac in Gen. 22-- Moriah) and Gandalf has paused to try and figure out which way to take. He is sitting next to Frodo and they are discussing the burden of carrying the One Ring and all the trouble that has come and will come with the quest. Frodo says, "I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish that any of this had never happened." Gandalf kindly and wisely replies, "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not theirs to decide. All you must do is decide what to do with the time given you."

The next quote is a proverb held among the puritans that I recite to myself on a near-daily basis: "See to your duties, and let God handle the rest."


You have a responsibility to see to your duties, to decide what to do with the time given you, to be where you are 100%. To do any less is to waste what you've been given, to be faithless, to dishonor your Creator. He's given you this life; He's totally constructed the circumstances you're in right now-- glorify Him with your life. Whether you're in mourning, or you're stressed, or you're stoked, or you're hurting, or you're thrilled, or whatever, glorify God where you're at.

Maddie

Around 4:00 yesterday afternoon I got a phone call from my crying mom who told me that my dog whom I've had since 2nd grade had to be put to sleep.

I went home around 9:30 later that evening. I knew she wouldn't be there, but it still hurt when I opened the door and she wasn't there barking to greet me.

But even in the midst of all this, I can still see the gracious and loving hand of God. He kept me super busy yesterday, what with Executive Council stuff and Babysitting; too busy to dwell on my dog. He also sent several very kind people who went out of their way to check up on me.


Though the fig tree should not blossom,
and there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail,
and the fields produce no food,
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
and there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
and makes me walk on my high places.

--Habakkuk 3:17-19

"This life was not intended to be the place of our perfection, but the preparation for it." --- Richard Baxter

So the last couple of days have been very interesting. On Tuesday, Jars of Clay's newest album, Good Monsters, came out; and as a die-hard Jars fan, I made sure I was at Best Buy as soon as I could to pick up my own copy. This seriously is one of their best albums ever. The best way I can describe it is as a compilation of the best elements of almost all their previous albums. Not to mention, the lyrics, for the most part, are actually christian, which sadly is something you don't find in most "christian" artists today. True, not all the songs are christian, but to be honest, some of the "love" songs actually rock hard core, and there's even one song about social justice in Africa that really struck a chord with me. If you're looking for something new to listen to, buy this cd. You won't be disappointed.

For those of you who haven't yet heard the infamous story, I totally made a fool of myself walking from North Campus to Lunch on Wednesday. I won't post the whole thing on the internet (something about "incriminating evidence"), but I'll go so far as to say that the story involves a freshman girl I had never met (and now probably will never meet), the word "awesome", and me putting my foot in my mouth most heinously.

Then came yesterday in Western Political Philosophy 1 when, barely even 5 minutes into the class, I squeezed too hard on my coffee cup from the student center and proceeded to spill the contents all over my notes, my copy of Plato's Republic, and of course, my lap. My good buddy Ben Blakey saw the whole thing and just laughed at me; I'm surprised he hasn't blogged about it yet. Dr. Frazer just stared at me in all of my klutzy glory for about 3 seconds, and then continued on participating in our debate about the (absolutely ridiculous) idea of creating co-ed intramural flag football at TMC.



Then, last night, Generations started back up. I'm not sure I can really convey how excited I was for this. I go to a rather large church, and to be honest, I find the expression of the local church (discipleship, fellowship, admontion, friendship, relationships) in my Bible Study of approximately 60 people. I had the privilege of leading worship with Ben Blakey and Mary Buck, two guitarists whose skills put me to shame, but it was wonderful to be back with the believers I consider family. On a different note (no pun intended), I got Martin strings put on my guitar, and it sounds incredible. But please, let me just take this opportunity to put a plug in for the local church-- if you're not involved in a smaller group of believers who hold you accountable, pray for you, and provide areas for you to serve, get plugged in. Growth happens in community.

So the last couple of days have been very interesting. But by far was what happened today: I went to the LA county fair. Now trust me, I would not normally spend a Friday afternoon all the way in Pamona, but my mom loves to go to look at the crafts and things for sale, and this year neither my dad nor my brother could afford to go; so guess whose lot it fell to accompany my dear mother to the fair? Yep, yours truly. It was actually very cool, except for the fact that it was ridiculously crowded. And another thing: most of today's fair attenders appeared to hail from a specific demographic.... I'll let you guess which one (here's a hint: NASCAR and beer cans). Also, there was some of the most disgusting foods on the face of the earth at the fair. You had all kinds of delicacies, ranging from Deep-Fried Twinkies (which my good friend Pete Bargas would enjoy, I daresay) to Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwiches (I kid you not, it was a slab of chicken stuck between two Krispy Kreme donut-buns) to Smoked Pork Butts (I'll leave you to your imagination on that one; but what really took the cake (and by "cake", I mean "heart attack") were the bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Yes, you hear correctly, the bacon-wrapped hot dogs. This is either someone's idea of a death wish or the Atkins Diet gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Oh, and to top it off, I got asked to Fall Thing in the coolest possible way ever. Girls, take a lesson from this: she sent me a Starbucks Gift card with a note inside asking me to Fall Thing. You can't beat that; you just can't.


So, this pretty much looks like a somewhat humorous, albeit drawn-out, journal entry of my past week. And perhaps it is. But I would be amiss to not give the credit to God. A lot of cool things happened this week. A lot of weird things happened. A lot of bad things happened, too. Not once, not once did God stop being in control. When I spilled coffee all over my notes and books and lap, God wasn't up in Heaven going "oops, look at what that idiot Steve Crawford just did;" He was teaching me something in the process (namely, not to take my self-image too seriously). When I was encouraged beyond belief by Dolores Michaelson and Tommy Myrick at Generations, God was behind that, too. And I honestly believe that my loathing of the bacon dogs was a God-given reaction as well, because it is through His sanctifying work in my life that I have come to learn to shun things which are evil.

So if it hasn't been your day, or week, or month, or even your year ("I'll be there for you"), remember that God is still in control. Seriously. Nothing surprises Him. Everything happens for a reason. It's just up to us to respond Biblically and learn what we can learn and seek utmost to glorify God in our reactions.

Let me leave you with a passage that has relatively little to do with everything I have written in this post. This particular portion of Scripture has weighed heavily on my thoughts and I am attempting to make it the theme passage of how I conduct myself this school year (and prayerfully the rest of my life). May you benefit from it as well:

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.

-- 2 Peter 1:3-10

Not Dark Yet

So I just used my lounge key for the first time as an upperclassmen and it is a glorious feeling. I hated curfew with a passion for the first two years of my college experience. Don't get me wrong, I feel that curfew is necessary in many cases and it's not like all I wanted to do was to go out and party, but I am very glad that I don't have to sign in anymore.

I really should go to bed, but I am drinking a very tasty (I tried to search my mental thesaurus for a better adjective than "tasty", but alas, I am too tired) vanilla latte, so I think I'll blog.

This past week was the first week of classes; although it was busy, it wasn't nearly as crazy or as taxing on me than was WOW. All the same, I find myself once again committed to so many things that I feel stretched in about almost every direction. The thing is, I've looked at what I'm involved in, and I can't really cut anything.... in fact, what I could cut has already been cut.

I just decided that right now I'm going to count my blessings:

I have eternal Salvation in Christ Jesus, my great High Priest who can empathize with every single one of my weaknesses and yet has passed through death to bring me life.
I have a loving family, that not only cares for me, but provides me with plenty of opportunities for sanctification ;-).
I get paid for doing administrative work and event planning and a little counseling (and eventually mentoring about 15 freshmen)-- HOW COOL IS THAT?!?
I get paid for driving a car for two hours on Tuesday-Thursday mornings (but since barely anyone rides those mornings, I actually get paid to read my bible in the caf).
I have an awesome roommate who is a consistant example of humility and genuine care and compassion.
I have great friends who truly care.
Starbucks has recently brought back the best seasonal flavor ever-- PUMPKIN SPICE! I've had two pumpkin spice lattes this past week already.
I seriously love every single one of my classes: Old Testament 1, Astronomy Lab, Christian Political Thought, Western Political Thought 1, Intro to Constitutional Law, and The Church as a Legal Institution.
God has made it more clear regarding what I am to do with my life: Law School.
I go to a wonderful college.
I am blessed to be involved in an amazing church.
It's football season.
My brother is growing leaps and bounds in his spiritual walk and general maturity.
Coffee exists.
I got a free CJ Mahaney book today.


Wow. This isn't meant to be a self-centered blog; I don't really know how to say it, but perhaps you could rejoice with me as I rejoice. It's so easy to complain and focus on the bad things that are going on. But when I look at my wretchedness as exemplified in the sins I commit so much every day and then I look at the goodness of God as exemplified in the countless blessings I don't deserve, I am rendered with nothing to say except praises for God.

Hast thou not seen how all thy longings have been granted in what He ordaineth?

I'm really tired, so I'm going to bed.