Not Ready

You know that scene in the movie Signs, when Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix and the Home Alone kid's brother and that cute little girl are all in the basement and the aliens are trying to break in and Mel Gibson is bracing himself against the door and holding tight to the door handle and he says "I'm not ready."?

That's exactly how I feel right now. The schoolyear is coming up and I'm not ready. I didn't get all the work done I wanted to get done. I didn't get all the reading done I wanted to get done. I didn't work out as much as I would have liked to. I'm not ready.

But whether I'm ready or not, the schoolyear will come, and I've got to take it as it comes. But I'm not ready.

Fortunately for me, God gives grace. Sufficient enough grace to face anything that may come my way. Hallelujah to the God who sustains!

By the way, speaking of Shyamalan movies, I saw Lady in the Water with my brother the other night. Now, I absolutely love most Shyamalan movies, but this one was a little far-fetched. And by a little far-fetched, I mean I was confused THE ENTIRE TIME, and that usually doesn't happen to me. So yeah, I would say wait until I buy it on dvd and then we can watch it and you can save your money. Sounds good? Good.

itunes > Music Store > Celebrity Playlists > Studs of TMC > Steve Crawford's Playlist

So I was just killing time, looking at celebrity playlists on itunes the other day, and I was thinking, wouldn't it be cool if I had my own celebrity playlist (as if having a blog wasn't egotistic enough)? So last night, I used some of the itunes music store gift cards I got for my birthday and I bought about 20 or so songs that I have always liked but have never had in my music library. I figured that this is about as good a celebrity playlist there is, so I'll share it with you (for lack of a better way of figuring out what the best order to put them in would be, I've put them in order from when I first heard them):




Track No.#1: "Runaround Sue" by Dion-- Growing up, all we would listen to in the car were oldies. And whenever this one would come on, Dad would try to teach my brother and I an object lesson, using the title character of this song to illustrate the adulterous woman of Proverbs 7-- and why we should stay away from such girls. Well, in a way, I guess it's worked. I'm 20 and my brother's 17 and neither of us have had a girlfriend; or much luck with girls, period. Thank you, Runaround Sue.

Track No.#2: "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison-- First of all, people with brown eyes get a bum rap, compared to people with green or (gasp) blue eyes. Second of all, this song has one of the most fun guitar riffs ever (which I happened to have recently taught myself on the guitar). Third, this song just rocks, period.

Track No.#3: "Do You Believe in Magic" by The Lovin' Spoonful-- This is yet another classic oldie that I grew up listening to. It also is just a fun, kick-back, relaxing song. No, I do not believe in magic. Yes, I read the Harry Potter novels. Sue me.

Track No.#4: "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett-- Ok, ok; I know, I know. This holiday diddy is cheesy at best. But if you know me, you know that I absolutely LOVE old-time black-and-white horror flicks from the 30's, 40's, and 50's, and any song that mentions my heroes Dracula and the Wolf-Man is a great song in my book.

Track No.#5: "The Way" by Fastball-- Our first non-oldie of the mix, "The Way" was a hit song back when I was in 6th grade; it was on Radio Disney all the time. Don't get on my case 'cuz I listened to Radio Disney- that and K-EARTH 101 (the local Oldies station) were all I was allowed to listen to. Besides the whole nostalgia factor, I also like this song because of some of the questions it raises regarding issues such as responsibility, adulthood, and the path of life.

Track No.#6: "Love Train" by The O'Jays-- I first heard this song on a "Best of the 70's" mix back in 9th grade and I thought it was really cool. Now it's the theme song for all those Coors Beer commercials when a freezing train made up of beer cans comes rushing past a bunch of people who are sweating profusely in order to bring them the cool refreshment of intoxicating alcohol. GAG. At least the song is still cool.

Track No.#7: "Follow You Down" by The Gin Blossoms-- I liked this song from the first time I heard it. You may recall that it was the song played in the climax of "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days", when Matthew McConaughey is riding on his motorcycle to prevent Kate Hudson from leaving New York because he realizes he loves her despite the fact that she totally played him like an old fiddle. But that's not why I like this song. I like the song because of it's use of the Harmonica. Putting a harmonica in a rock n' roll song can either sound really good or really lame, and here the Gin Blossoms pulled it off. But as I learn more about the role of the man and the woman in a biblical, God-honoring relationship, I realize that this song isn't biblically accurate. Bummer.

Track No.#8: “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers—First of all, the coolness factor of this song is exponentially multiplied by the fact that the guys singing are SCOTTISH (I’m part Scottish, in case you didn’t know). Secondly, it is my firm conviction that this is one of the best work-out songs EVER. I’m not kidding. Whenever this song comes on my ipod while I’m lifting or running, I lift harder and run faster. I think it has something to do with the line “when I’m workin’, I’ll be workin’ hard fer you.” Yeah, I think that’s it.

Track No.#9: “99 Red Balloons” (edited version) by Goldfinger—This song is about a boy and a girl who buy 99 red balloons, blow them up, let them go, and inadvertently bring about worldwide nuclear destruction. This is one of the most driving hard core rock songs I like, and it was an all-time favorite when it came time to psych myself up to KILL KILL KILL on the football field back in my glory days on the high school gridiron. Also, one of the verses is sung in German, and I’m a big fan of that because the part of me that’s not Scottish or Irish is German (to quote Michael Scott, I’m a veritable United Nations—two-fifteenths Native American Indian).

Track No.#10: “Walking on the Sun” (edited version) by Smash Mouth—I love to sing—anytime, anywhere. But that’s not the case with my brother. However, this song is the only song that I’ve ever seen him just bust out while we’re driving in the car. It’s catchy, despite it’s semi-liberal message. Ugh. Liberal.

Track No.#11: “Sweet Tequila Blues” by Carrie Rodriguez & Chip Taylor—Ok, this is how country music should sound. I absolutely LOVE this song. I hope one day I’m good enough on guitar to bust this one out; it rocks. Besides the incredible vocal harmony, this song features a couple of great fiddle solos. For those of you who say you “hate” country, you got to at least try this one out. It’s great.

Track No.#12: “Accidentally in Love” by Counting Crows-- This song came out right at the end of my senior year of high school; you might remember it as the main song from the Shrek 2 soundtrack. Anyway, it is a hard core song, and I remember that the music video was pretty good, what with the dancing rabbit and that guy trying to make breakfast but failing miserably.

Track No.#13: “A Long December” by Counting Crows—Alright, I know what you’re thinking—it was most definitely not my goal to have two songs by the same artist and most definitely I did not want to have them right next to each other. But that’s how it worked out in the whole chronological thing. My roommate freshman year loved Counting Crows and Dashboard Confessional. For some odd reason, I came to love Counting Crows too, but I utterly despise the whiny punks of Dashboard. Anyway, this song is so legit, I had to include it, even though I already had another Crows song (but give me some credit; I was tempted to add “Mr. Jones”, but I thought that’d be a little much).

Track No.#14: “The Distance” (edited version) by Cake—I heard this song last summer while riding around the beautiful SCV with my boss Pete and I got it stuck in my head for most of the summer. I think it had something to do with the monotone voice of the singer, the steady driving bass line, and the intermittent staccato trumpets (which, as a fan of ska, I might add is a nice touch). Anyway, this was the Summer ’05 Pete Bargas’ Car song.

Track No.#15: “Beyond the Sea” by Bobby Darin—I have none other than Joseph Paul Keller to thank for making me a fan of this song; I heard it on his itunes last summer while working in King Hall. It is my tribute to the Frank Sinatra genre of music, which I enjoy, but not nearly as much as some of my friends do. Too bad that this was basically Bobby Darin’s only real hit—he will forever go down in musical history as one of the first “one-hit wonders”.

Track No.#16: “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something—The first time I ever heard this song was actually on VH1’s worst-song-ever countdown, and as I was listening to these actors (notice how they don’t get musicians to critique the songs, they have actors and comedians who are so puffed up with their supposed pop-culture knowledge they’re about ready to explode give their own two cents on the songs) go on and on how this song is horrible, and while I would agree, that you shouldn’t really stay in a relationship just because the only thing you have in common is the fact that you like a certain movie, the song is really fun to listen to. Also, it’s got some great guitar solos. And by the way, I’ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s and I don’t really plan to.

Track No.#17: “100 Years” by Five For Fighting—Despite the fact that this song was played to death in all those Chase Credit Card commercials, I really like it because of it’s focus on the brevity of life, which, in case you haven’t figured out by the title of my blog, is a huge theme for me. Life is short, even if you live to be one hundred years old. What Five For Fighting misses, however, is that despite life’s brevity, we must live all of it for the glory of our Lord.

Track No.#18: “I Saw the Light” by David Crowder Band—I really wrestled with the idea of putting a David Crowder song in my favorites playlist, seeing how he’s Emergent Church. Also, there’s definitely something wrong with the theology found in the line “I wouldn’t let my dear Savior in” (as if there was anything we could do to deny the Irresistible Grace of Salvation). However, any praise song that has fiddle and banjo and a bunch of people cheering in the background is a hit to me, so I decided to add this one to the list.

Track No.#19: “Mighty is the Power of the Cross” by Chris Tomlin—This song is beautiful, plain and simple. Just beautiful. I first heard while driving to church with three of my best friends last semester. Nothing really refocuses your mind on the Gospel than the message of the Cross and the One who shed His blood so you and I might live.

Track No.#20: “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds— I’ll come out and say it: 80’s music rocks. I am not ashamed. There’s something about hearing a wailing synthesizer that makes me smile. And this is a classic 80’s song—one of the chart-topping hits of 1985, to be exact. Also, this was the main song featured in one of my all-time top-ten favorite movies, The Breakfast Club. Great movie. Just make sure you watch it edited on TV, ‘cuz there’s a ton of swearing, but overall, it is a fantastic portrayal of how lost people with no hope view life.

Track No.#21: “The General” by Dispatch— If “The Distance” by Cake was the Summer ’05 Pete Bargas’ Car song, then “The General” by Dispatch is the Summer ’06 one. This song is absolutely incredible. The vocals are excellent. The guitar playing is superb. Listening to this song is like drinking a perfect cup of coffee on brisk autumn morning or biting into a warm Krispy Kreme donut fresh off the conveyor belt. But more than the acoustic features of this song, I really enjoy the questions it raises: “are all wars just?”, “is duty relative?”, “who really has the authority to forgive?” This is song is amazing; listen to it.

Track No.#22: “Blowin’ In the Wind” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes— In case you couldn’t tell by the first four songs of the playlist, I love oldies. That’s why I have a special place in my heart for bands like Me First and the Gimme Gimmes who take oldies and re-do them. Often times, I like the re-done version better than the first. This song is a Bob Dylan classic done to punk rock. I know, I know, it’s as great as it sounds. I’m also a HUGE Bob Dylan fan, so this song was perfect for my favorites playlist.

Track No.#23: “All My Tears” by Jars of Clay— I’ve loved Jars of Clay since I went on my first missions trip before my Junior year of High school, and this song follows in the tradition of their best hits such as “Flood” and “This Road”. This is a song you can buy exclusively on itunes music store and it is well worth the 99 cents. They describe it as a modern-day Hymn. I enjoy it’s heaven-centered lyrics and it’s somewhat melancholy tune. It’s also a super-easy song to play on the guitar; I taught it to myself in about twenty minutes. Great song.

Track No.#24: “Sunny Road” by Emiliana Torrini— And so we come to the last song on the playlist, which is interestingly the only song here sung by a female artist. I’m not chauvinistic in my music tastes (or in anything else for that matter), I just have happened to listen to more male artists than female artists. I really enjoy this song, not just because Miss Torrini has such a unique voice, but because of the folky sound the song has. I also like how the song doesn’t musically resolve itself like you think it will. It is a great song to round out my favorite playlist.





And there you have it. My very own celebrity playlist. However, if you have read this whole post up to this point, I do not offer my congratulations. Why on earth would you waste your time reading what amounts to about 4 pages of my music tastes? Go read the Bible. Sheesh.






Ah music. A magic beyond all we do here!

---Albus Dumbledore





Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

---Victor Hugo





Music is a discipline, and a mistress of order and good manners, she makes the people milder and gentler, more moral and more reasonable.

---Martin Luther

"It's so hot.... milk was a bad choice." --Legendary Anchorman Ron Burgundy

BEFORE YOU READ THIS, GO READ GUNNER'S POST FROM TODAY:

Now that you know the temp out here in Sheol, I mean, Santa Clarita, here's what I did today:

Drove approx. 300 metal stakes into concrete and dug ditches in the garden of an elderly couple in my bible study for 6 hours.


But overall, today was a better day than yesterday.

Jury Duty Strikes Again....

Today was a pretty bad day.....

But God is gracious.


Go read Gunner's blog; it's so good, it snapped me out of the foul mood I was in.


Something better and more encouraging coming soon, I promise.

I need to blog about this before the excitement fades...

If you know me, you know that one of the sins that I constantly battle is worrying about where money is going to come from. I go to a school that costs roughly $27,000 a year, and I live in a city in which gas costs about $3.35 a gallon. I have never made more than $7.70 an hour (except for a few under-the-table jobs, and we won't talk about those... I don't want to have to kill you). Needless to say, despite the apparent difference between the amount of money life requires of me to pay and the amount of money I bring home, everything has always been taken care of. Some might credit this to luck (I am one-sixteenth Irish, after all), while some might credit it to hard work (although no one who really knows me would ever credit me with hard work). I know for a fact, however, that the credit goes to Jehovah-Jirah, the God Who Provides.

January 10th and July 10th are days that are stamped onto the consciousness of my brain more than April 15th. January 10th and July 10th are the days that tuition is due for the Spring and Fall semesters, respectively. Fortunately, there is a 10 day grace period, which I have never failed to take advantage of. So, a few weeks before the day we pay the money, the lovely people in Student Accounts send out our bills. This year I owed an amount that is the rough equivalent to 650 No.#1 combos at In-N-Out (for those of you who are a little slow, a No.#1 combo at In-N-Out, including tax, is $5.40). I had no idea how I was gonna pay for the difference. My dad, who is an adjunct faculty member at the college, noticed that we hadn't had the small amount of tuition remission he is entitled to applied to my bill for the last three semesters, and encouraged me to ask around about it. So I talked to the folks in HR and in Student Accounts, filled out some forms, and I expected about maybe a grand to be taken care of.


Imagine my shock today when I discovered that it covered the whole amount I owed. I asked the nice red-headed lady who works in Student Accounts, "are you sure?" "Yes," she said. Absolutely dumbfounded, I asked her to check again. "I'm absolutely sure," was her semi-exasperated reply. Then she said verbatim, "you're debt has been totally paid for-- you don't owe us anything."

I was ecstatic. Completely ecstatic. I began to think, "nothing has ever happened like this to me before!" And then I realized: yes, something like this, only bigger, has happened before. It happened two thousand years ago.... or it happened before the dawn of time... or it happened in 8th grade.... or it happened at all those time. I was saved. My eternal debt, my cosmic debt, my life-debt-- it was paid for by One who hung on a tree.

Amazing how a paid monetary debt could get me stoked and I could almost overlook salvation, huh? I think we take Christ's sacrifice for granted so much that it takes mundane things like tuition to jar us back into reality-- the real reality, the one we can't see.

I hope you don't make the mistake I usually make-- I hope salvation daily slaps you in the face with it's amazingness. I hope the fact that your debt is paid brings you to the point of ecstasy. Becuase Jehovah-Jirah is not just a provider of the food we will eat, or the clothes we will wear. He's the Jehovah-Jirah of Genesis 22-- the God who provided the ram to take Isaac's place as the sacrifice. So often we forget that we were Isaac, but Christ hung on the cross instead.

Last night/earlier this eveing, I heard an awesome (and I do mean awe-inspiring, awe-causing, awe-inducing) message on the sacrificial death of Christ from one of my top-five favorite preachers, Steve Lawson. It was from Isaiah 52:13-53:12, a passage that I've actually memorized. But there was a section in it that I hadn't really paid much attention to before. It's found in ch. 53, vs. 8, which reads:
By oppression and judgment He was taken away;
and as for His generation, who considered
that He was cut off out of the land of the living
for the transgression of my people,
to whom the stroke was due?

I bolded that last second because it hit me like a mac truck tonight. The stroke was due to me. It was due to you. Yet Christ willingly took it. He could've let us been crushed by the weight of the punishment for our sins. He took it. He despised the shame and endured the Cross. And yet, Isaiah's assessment is right-- no one considered the act that He did. Two thousand years later, we still forget too much.


So how did I get from tuition bills to Christ's atonement? Simple. Our debt's been paid. We're in the black, spiritually-speaking. I pray that that amazing, mind-boggling, wonderful truth makes you want to dance and sing and cry and just be content in God. It does me.

Your debt's been paid.

"Thou Lovely Source of True Delight, Whom I unseen adore, unveil Thy beauties to my sight, that I might love Thee more..."

I was driving home from Java n' Jazz last night (which sadly, I'm convinced, has had its "Jazz" removed), when I crested a hill near my neighborhood and was immediately struck my by the beauty of the moon. It was almost full, and was glowing brilliantly white against a pitch black sky. It was huge, like someone had pulled it closer to the earth. It literally took my breath away. But all I could think was that God's beauty, though I've never seen it, must outshine this. It has to. God, heaven, eternity, is better than any beauty we find on earth. And I began to think, I long for heaven. I long to be free from failings. I long to be with my Savior. I long to be free of doubt, free of sin, free of guilt. I long for heaven.

So, after thinking this on the drive home, it stopped me dead in my tracks to find this quote as I lay reading in bed last night:

There have been times when I think that we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else.... It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends, or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work.... all your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it.
--C.S. Lewis

After reading this, I couldn't but help to break out in praise. I whipped out my guitar and taught myself "Let Us Love and Sing and Wonder" (Jars of Clay style-- boo yah!) and played it till I couldn't keep my eyes open.


Truly God is great.

Living the Good Life...

Disclaimer: This is kind of a cheesy and pretty much recounting-of-personal-experience post; if you're looking for expositional preaching in blog form, don't read this post-- go to Micah's or Gunner's or Miriam's blog.... ok, you've been warned, here goes:

How refreshing the body of Christ is!!! What a blessing is the Church!!! God could have set up Christianity such that once we are saved, we have no need for community or gathering, but to His praise, He chose to create us with a need for fellowship.

I was incredibly depressed after work today. Feeling cut off from God, cut off from people, cut off from pretty much everything, I began to feel the weight and guilt of the mistakes I've made and sins I've committed over the past years. I was so discouraged that I almost didn't go to superstudy down at church tonight... but I knew that I needed to hear the word. I'm so glad I did.

Pastor Jim Pile preached an incredible sermon about submitting completely to Christ's lordship... I was incredibly convicted as areas of sin in my life I hadn't really considered problems were exposed to me. The worship was also great (including my favorite praise song "Amazing Love (I'm Forgiven Because You Were Forsaken)"), but the real encouragement came afterwards, when about 17 of us from Generations went to Claim Jumper for desert. We stayed there almost till midnight, just fellowshipping and enjoying each others' company. It was great. I actually wound up having an extended talk with my shepherd Bob and his wife Teri. I left so encouraged; and all I can say is that God is good all the time.

I was reminded of an Audio Adrenaline song that really describes how my life's going right now. I know it's kinda hokey to quote songs in a blog that's supposed to be biblically exhortational, but this song has really got me thinking (or rather, re-thinking).... maybe it'll stimulate some re-thinking in you. It's called "Good Life".

I've watched my dreams all fade away
And blister in the sun
Everything I've ever had is unraveled and undone
I've set upon a worthless stack
Of my ambitious plans
And the people that I've loved the most
Have turned their backs and ran

This is the good life
I've lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of
This is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in Your arms

Loneliness has left me searching
For someone to love
Poverty has changed my view
Of what true riches are
Sorrow's opened up my eyes
To see what real joy is
Pain has been the catalyst
To my heart's happiness

This is the good life
I've lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of
This is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in Your arms

What good would it be
If you had everything,
But you wouldn't have
The only thing you need?

This is the good life
I've lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of
This is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in Your arms



There's an episode of the incredibly funny satirical TV show "The Office", in which the main character Jim has an incredibly awful day; everything goes horribly wrong (his boss is a jerk and his co-worker Dwight steals a huge sale from him)-- but at the end of the day, in a conference meeting, the receptionist who Jim has a crush on briefly falls asleep with her head accidentally on Jim's shoulder. Jim comments to the camera that it was "overall, not a bad day."

That's kinda what things look like right now. All the little (and some not-so-little) things just seem to be going bad... but at the end of the day, I have Christ. That's really all I need. I'd rather take Him and have everything go wrong than not have Him and have everything go right.


Yep, this is the good life.

Who needs sleeping pills when you can blog?

Let me just start off by saying that right now I can't sleep, so I'm blogging. Therefore, if this blog is incoherent or rambling or possibly even heretical, please attribute it to the fact that I am significantly drowsy, but not enough to drift off to sleep. My goal is to form a conglomerate of ideas I've had for blogs over the past couple of days, if they make any sense at all.

First, let me tell you about a sort of revelation I had while driving to church early Sunday morning. I was going down pretty early because I'm in training for the in-service security (basically MacArthur's bodyguard). I was driving on the 14 south, where it merges into the 5 south, and I was watching the sun rise over the hills to the West, and it hit me... this is real.

There's a scene in the 1986 cult classic ¡Three Amigos! (one of my all-time favorite movies), starring Martin Short, Chevy Chase, and Steve Martin, in which the three main characters, Ned Needelander, Dusty Bottoms, and Lucky Day (who are all out-of-work silent-western-film movie stars) realize that they are not in Mexico to put on a live performance, but are actually in Mexico because they were hired to fight off the infamous El Guapo and his gang. This revelation comes with a bang, literally, when Lucky is shot in his left shoulder (surprisingly, the wound is completely healed by the next scene). Irate that a fellow actor would actually use real bullets in what the Amigos think is a performace, Lucky storms up to his assailant, El Guapo's right-hand-man Jefe, and demands to see his gun. Lucky then begins to threaten retribution on Jefe, until it dawns on him.... this is no performance. Slowly, he walks back to Ned and Dusty and breaks the news: "This is real. This... this is real." The three actors from Hollywood begin to cry. "They are going to kill us!" "What am I doing in Mexico?" "I've been shot already!"

This is kinda how I felt Sunday morning. I mean, I've believed that God is totally real since Jr. High, but the sheer reality of what I believe hit me Sunday morning. This is not all a ruse. This is not some tradition. There is a reason I see people all around me giving their all for the ministry. There is a reason I see changed lives. There is a reason I see a change in me from who I was only a few years ago. This is real. God is real. This whole Christianity thing... it's real.

Dwell on that. Rejoice in it.




A couple other things I wanted to blog on came from what I read in C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce. Early on in the book, the narrator witnessed a conversation between a "ghost" of Hell and a "Spirit" of Heaven. The ghost is a blue collar working class man, apparently satisfied in his own accomplishments, thank you very much. The Spirit he is talking to is someone he knew in life, a person he felt he was far superior to. The spirit is imploring the ghost to accept salvation, but the supposedly self-sufficient ghost responds, "What do you keep on arguing for? I'm only telling you the sort of chap I am. I only want my rights. I'm not asking for anybody's bleeding charity." The Spirit comes right back and says to the ghost, "Then do. At once. Ask for the Bleeding Charity. Everything is here for the asking and nothing can be bought."

There is no really huge divine epiphany in that statement... if you have any knowledge of the Gospel, you know what the Spirit referred to when he said "Bleeding Charity." I just thought it was cool how Lewis used a play on words to accurately say what Christ's sacrifice is. Bleeding Charity. I really like that description.

Another thing that has stuck in my mind from reading The Great Divorce is a scene in which a ghost from Hell is limping his way through the foothills of Heaven with a little red lizard on his shoulder. The miserable Ghost is making his way back to Hell with the lizard whispering in his ear the whole way when he is stopped by an angelic being. The being makes an offer and the ghost is faced with a choice: the being can either let Ghost continue on his way to hell, following the lizard's promptings; or the Ghost can let the being kill the lizard, although great pain will come to the ghost with the death of the lizard. After much fretting and near backsliding and even swearing, the Ghost implores the being to kill the lizard. The being does so, and indeed, immense pain befalls the ghost. But both the corpse of the lizard and the pathetic Ghost are wondrously transformed. The dead lizard becomes a living beautiful white horse and the Ghost becomes a Spirit of heaven. Of course, we see in this example that this is Lewis' way of trying to convey what surrendering all to Christ looks like... but I think the example could also be used for Christians who seek the mortification of our sin. Oh, I confess, there are lizards on my shoulder, too. Anger. Hypocrisy. Laziness. I pray that God will help me kill them, no matter how much it hurts.

How about you? Any little red lizards on your shoulder?




God has yet again provided financially for another semester at TMC. Each semester has been the same... don't know where the money's going to come from, and then boom; one thing after another falls into place and I'm set. You'd think I'd learn to trust God by now, huh? Well, I'll be the first to confess that I'm an idiot. I looked up tuition prices for UCLA Law School (yes, newsflash to the world, I am re-thinking Law School.... that's another story for another time), and it's almost as much as Master's. I began to immediately get discouraged and slightly depressed. I went home and mentioned it to my mom and she immediately began to theologically slap me upside my head. She reminded me that God has taken care of me this far, and if He wants me at UCLA School of Law, then there's nothing that's going to stop Him. Oh, how easy I forget. God's mercies are new every morning, Great is His faithfulness!




Oh, good news. After over a month of being dormant (some of us were afraid that this was the end), Homestar Runner is back with a new cartoon. Let there be celebration in the streets! Oh joyous day!




Well, there's a lot more I could talk about right now, but I'm getting pretty tired. Good night.

The Cult of Saints

So I went to the Getty today for the first time ever with my fearless leader, Randy Lundy. I know, I know, I've lived in SoCal my whole life and I've never been to the Getty before. I got the feeling that it would have been a whole lot nicer if it was less crowded and less hot. Anyway, there was this fascinating exhibit called "The Cult of Saints", in which medieval church art from the period spanning the fall of Rome to the Reformation (roughly 500 AD- 1500 AD). It contained all sorts of paintings, sculptures, tapestries, and other forms of artwork depicting the saints that people would pray to. Being a Church History major, I wanted to make sure that the people at the Getty got things right. Rest assured, their display passed my stringent test of accuracy. (I'm only kidding-- I know barely anything about Church History, that's why I'm studying it.)

Anyway, walking through "The Cult of Saints" kinda reminded me of the college I go to. So often at my school, you hear "oh, so-and-so's awesome, you should so hang out with them," or "that dude is so godly, you should talk to him sometime." Here's the thing, though. No one lives up to the praise that precedes them. No one. We all are sinful human beings, wretches mercifully saved and changed by the unmerited grace of God. There is nothing inherent in any of us that makes us stellar by nature. But you wouldn't know it listening to some of the conversations on campus. You'd think that certain people have a halo surgically attached to their craniums.

Am I saying that we shouldn't praise people who exemplify godliness in their lives? Absolutely not. Upon listing the Old Testament saints found in "The Hall of Faith" of Hebrews 11, the writer of Hebrews (for brevity and accuracy's sake, I'll just call him "Paul") refers to them as men "of whom the world was not worthy" (Heb. 11:38) and then in chapter 12 calls them "so great a cloud of witnesses" (vs. 1) as a sort of encouragement to press on.

But here's the thing... he doesn't then say, "let's look to how awesome these guys were for our encouragement." No! What Paul does tell us to do is to look "to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (vs.2).

The thing is this: in the past two years, I'd have to say that the ratio of comments I've heard about how awesome so-and-so or such-and-such is compared to the amount of comments I've hear about how awesome Christ is would probably be about 5:1. I'm not kidding. It's almost like we're so focused on praising each other that we shove the Savior aside.

So am I advocating never saying nice things about people who are pursuing godliness? No. Several of the New Testament writers do so at the end of their epistles (Col. 4:10-13; Eph. 6:21-22; 1 Peter 5:12; 3 John 12). In his book, Humility: True Greatness (which is excellent, by the way), CJ Mahaney states that identifying "evidences of grace" in others is an excellent way to increase one's humility. Recognizing the godliness shining in others is a good thing, but it becomes a bad thing done at the expense of focusing on Christ... and I am afraid this is done way to often.

You see, people will mess up. They're fallable. They won't live up to their reputation, no matter how "awesome" they've been trumped up to be. It's all part and parcel of the whole sinful-nature thing. But Christ never fails. Never once. He is "our great High Priest, who has passed through the heavens... who in every respect has been tempted as we are, but is without sin," (Heb. 4:14-15) and "is the same yesterday, today, and forever," (Heb. 13:8). He, above all, is worthy of our praise. The 24 elders in the book of Revelation got it right. The book tells us that they're saying over and over for all eternity, "Worthy are You, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they existed and were created," (Rev. 4:11). I think if we understood this, I mean really understood this, we'd put less stock in the "awesomeness" of those around us and more wonder in the amazingness of Christ... and in doing so, we might just be less disappointed with each other and rejoice more in the Savior.